Bolder!

Break Out

Last spring, as our economy tanked, my coaching practice soon followed. As budgets tightened,  priorities shifted. I totally understood but over the course of just 4 weeks my practice almost disappeared until one afternoon I found myself with no foreseeable income and wondering what to do next.

I considered going back to corporate work but dismissed the idea almost as soon as it flitted through my brain. I know from experience how hard it is to get out of those golden handcuffs and the culture of Big Business was not one I wanted to support again. The nightly news of lost jobs, vanishing pensions and shattered lives convinced me of that.

I then thought seriously about working at the local coffee shop until the economic storm blew over. I knew I could leave that behind easily enough when my practice got busy again.

But when you KNOW you are doing what you're supposed to be doing (coaching in my case) how do you just stop? I absolutely knew coaching was what I was meant to be up to. I just needed to find someone to coach again.

I had to get my thinking out of that proverbial box and try something completely different.

First I got clear on WHO I wanted to BE - which is a "Support for people building their personal version of a successful life".

Next I visualized finding a way to do this without charging and still earn a living. (My husband, bless his heart, simply said was "Good luck with that.")

Two weeks later I found my answer in the most unexpected place.

With a clear intention (and such a crazy notion) my radar was on high alert looking for a solution. So when an opportunity appeared I didn't dismiss it out of hand as I might have done in the past. Instead I took time to explore it and educate myself. After all, how can you intelligently say no to something if you don't have the facts?

I found exactly what I'd imagined - a way to make a difference using my skills as a coach and mentor as I earned an income that didn't have to come from my clients. Six months later and I still have to pinch myself to believe it.

As the economy recovers, my "normal" coaching practice is picking up again, for which I'm grateful. And now I have a whole new revenue stream in my business which I'm also grateful for. I'm proud of what I'm building and the difference it's making in people's lives.

On top of all that, I find myself living boldly again. I've finally got time for what feeds my spirit. I'm writing, painting and sculpting again. More on that to come.

WHAT I KNOW...

I first had to get clear on how I wanted to Be and then I had to let go of how it should look. If I'd been tied to my old ideas and ways of doing things I might have kept the door closed when opportunity dropped in.

So ask yourself this - "Who do I want to be?"

Then find your way to be that in the world.

The Snowflake Effect

I was almost surprised this past week to speak with a number of people who have forgotten the importance of little things in a life or who outright dismiss the concept. Almost surprised but not quite because the sad truth is I run into these people all the time. Sometimes I'm even one of them.

Now I'm not advocating stressing over the small stuff but attention needs to be paid. After all, how much does a snowflake weigh? Hardly measurable, right? But get enough of them together and they are a force to be reckoned with.

Our lives are strung together from little moments. So why do we we sit back and wait for the grand gesture, the heroic act or a winning lottery ticket to change the course of our life? I see this everyday in people waiting for their 'big break' or envious of a friend's "overnight success" while all the time they let opportunities melt away in their hands.

If you truly want your life to be different in the future you must start today, right where you are by making those small but important choices. Pile them up and before you know it, the obstacles are buried while you glide along smoothly on the surface, picking up speed!

That was one of my first lessons when I went "offline" last fall to build a new arm of my business. I knew it wasn't going to happen unless I showed up every day and took care of the little stuff.

Pick up the phone.

Learn a new skill.

Get supper on the table.

(The flip side of all this was not being attached to the outcome --which can make for an interesting balancing act. More than once I found myself headfirst in a drift, trying to get back on my feet.)

WHAT I KNOW...

We can waste a lot of time waiting for something big to happen. Or we can start small, with what we can handle right now and make something happen. Once you get into motion, momentum will take over. Kind of like downhill skiing.

What`s one small action you could take today?

Peak of Success

My daughter was once fascinated by all things Everest so we watched a lot of movies and read a lot of books. We can learn a lot from experienced mountain climbers.

For instance, I learned that those who summit Mt. Everest do it in stages. Just getting to Base Camp is a big deal. From there they move on to other camps at gradually higher altitudes. The purpose is acclimate to the thinner oxygen at each camp before climbing higher. They wait for their body to catch up to their ambition.

Work hard, yes, but take some time to acclimate. Don't rush the process and don't de-value the quiet moments. They provide the fuel to carry you to your dreams.

Another thing I learned about Everest climbers is that not everyone who goes to Base Camp defines success in the same way. Many people go along as the support system. Their goal isn't to reach the summit but to make sure the climbers get up and back safely. They succeed only when everyone is back off the mountain and the party begins.

Appreciate your support team in your own climb. Not only will they help you up the mountain, but they'll make sure you get back in one piece! And it's not as much fun celebrating without someone to share the moment.

From Everest I also learned it's all about where you put your focus. I attended a lecture by a young man who had summitted and the picture he showed of crossing an aluminum ladder over a crevasse with spiked boots made me shudder! When I asked how he did it, he said it all depended on where you focused. Looking past your feet was to invite paralyzing fear. See only your feet and you can ignore the gaping maw of ice below you. (Well, he could. I don't know if I could!)

Choose your challenges, define success for yourself and climb on. Let go of your excuses and focus on what you know to be true. Then celebrate.

It's a great recipe for success.

What's a Life Coach, Anyhow?

The other day someone surprised me by asking what I did for a living. They loved my posts but had no idea why I chose the subjects I did. I guess I just thought everyone knew. I've been merrily writing about life but it seems it's been too long since I wrote about coaching. So - let's talk.

First off, it's not therapy or counseling. Life coaching is all about your future, not the past. Where would you like to be a year from now? Five years from now? What dreams are calling to you? What's standing in your way?

A coach fills the role of that objective friend you need to move ahead. Family and friends usually can't do this for you. The people who care about you are emotionally involved and have their own agendas, whether conscious or unconscious. That's not good or bad, it just is. Because of it, I won't coach my friends and I have never met my own coach face to face. 

Think of it this way - we each star in our own movie. In your family or friends' movies you are simply a supporting character. If you decide to change your lines or take on a new role, you disrupt their story. Your change forces them to change, something they probably didn't agree to. 

So a coach brings objectivity and a different perspective to the question of "Where do you want to go in your life?"

A coach also provides accountability.

We all know how easy it is to break those promises we make to ourselves -- the weight loss, the new job, the dream trip, etc.  That's because it's easy to let someone you love off the hook. That's also the reason anyone we are in relationship with has trouble holding us accountable. Hopefully they love us, too.

This next coaching role is my favorite - with your coach there are no failures, only opportunities. So whether you do or don't do, you will always learn. I help you deepen that learning and use it to move ahead.

While the agenda is always yours. I act as a guide by asking curious questions. I help deepen your learning and I listen. Really listen. Probably more than you've been listened to in your life. Most of my clients say that being heard is the best part. You'd be amazed by what a good coach can detect in the energy of your voice. That's also why coaching isn't limited by geography because most coaching takes place over the phone.

In a nutshell - that's what I do. I do it because my dream is to see everyone live fully, openly and without apology for their dreams. I believe that everyone of us is put on this planet for a reason and if we each live fully into our purpose we'll all be richer.

I guess you could say I do have an agenda. I want to help you define success for yourself and then go after it!

If you're ready to get serious about your future, drop me an email. We can arrange a 15 minute coaching session without obligation so you can experience a little of the power of coaching. And if you think you can't afford coaching, ask me how you could qualify to be coached by me - for free!