Bolder!

Who Do You Want To Be?

 One statement I hear all the time as a coach is “I still don’t know who I want to be when I grow up.” 

Without this basic understanding, how do you know if your choices are taking you where you want to go?  Because you are a human be-ing, not a human do-ing, the answer to “Who do I want to be?” is critical.

When we ask a child what they want to be when they grow up they answer with choices like an astronaut, a doctor, a teacher, etc.  The child isn’t concerned about what salary is attached to that profession or the status associated with it. They are drawn to what the label represents to them.  An astronaut is a fearless explorer, a doctor or nurse someone who offers comfort and care. There is an inherent quality that attracts the child.

So time travel with me. When you were five years old, what did you want to be when you grew up? What was the quality in that choice that appealed to you? This is the first and important piece of your personal puzzle.

Next, flash forward to the end of your life. If you could attend your own funeral what do you want people to remember about you? What would you want to hear in the eulogy?

I doubt if it would be about the size of your bank account or the car you drove. Rather, most of want to be known for something like being a good neighbour, a warm friend or a kind parent.  We all want a life well-lived that made a difference to someone.  

Now come back to the present and ask for some honest feedback from a person you trust. What words  would they use to describe you? Our uniqueness is often invisible to us because it’s simply who we are. A trusted friend or family member can let you know if you’re on track with your be-ing.

Spend some serious time with this question.  Once you uncover who you want to be, you possess a reliable compass to guide you that will help you with every other choice in your life.

A Real Coach

One of the few additional things I said yes to last fall was to serve on the board of IDEAL WAY. I am blown away by what this organization is doing. And their founder, Robert Pio Hajjar is a natural coach. I've shared this YouTube video on my Facebook account but I don't think it can be seen enough. Robert's message goes to the heart of coaching. Whatever you want to do, take action.

"Whatever you can do, or dream you can begin it -- Boldness has genius, power and magic in it." 

W.N. Murray

The Snowflake Effect

I was almost surprised this past week to speak with a number of people who have forgotten the importance of little things in a life or who outright dismiss the concept. Almost surprised but not quite because the sad truth is I run into these people all the time. Sometimes I'm even one of them.

Now I'm not advocating stressing over the small stuff but attention needs to be paid. After all, how much does a snowflake weigh? Hardly measurable, right? But get enough of them together and they are a force to be reckoned with.

Our lives are strung together from little moments. So why do we we sit back and wait for the grand gesture, the heroic act or a winning lottery ticket to change the course of our life? I see this everyday in people waiting for their 'big break' or envious of a friend's "overnight success" while all the time they let opportunities melt away in their hands.

If you truly want your life to be different in the future you must start today, right where you are by making those small but important choices. Pile them up and before you know it, the obstacles are buried while you glide along smoothly on the surface, picking up speed!

That was one of my first lessons when I went "offline" last fall to build a new arm of my business. I knew it wasn't going to happen unless I showed up every day and took care of the little stuff.

Pick up the phone.

Learn a new skill.

Get supper on the table.

(The flip side of all this was not being attached to the outcome --which can make for an interesting balancing act. More than once I found myself headfirst in a drift, trying to get back on my feet.)

WHAT I KNOW...

We can waste a lot of time waiting for something big to happen. Or we can start small, with what we can handle right now and make something happen. Once you get into motion, momentum will take over. Kind of like downhill skiing.

What`s one small action you could take today?

Leaping Back In

Okay, okay. I know I disappeared for quite awhile but honestly, there was a good reason for it. Here I was writing and talking about life balance and time management while my own life was spinning faster and faster. In good conscience, I had to step back.I would have felt out of integrity with you to try and carry on.

After all, how could I write about taking time for self, keeping life in balance and all that other important "coach stuff " if I was trying to cram 36 hours of effort into 24. (Less if I wanted to eat and sleep.)

When I looked at what I wanted to accomplish last autumn, I knew I had drop some of the things I was up to but I did it with an eye to returning with some valuable things to share. I knew there would be some exciting and interesting changes during that time and I wasn't disappointed.  

SO - thank you to everyone who wrote or spoke to me to let me know how much you missed hearing from me. I appreciated your concern and apologize for the long silence. Thanks for the patience.

It was a deliberate choice but not an easy one.

One thing I learned is that the world doesn't fall apart when you let a few balls drop, even when you love juggling. I missed the introspection that my writing allows me. I missed hearing from my readers. I missed the discipline and creativity of blogging. The hardest choices are always between the good and the good. If it's between good and bad - no brainer. (Well, maybe not if I have to choose between brussel sprouts and chocolate... but you know what I mean.)

When was the last time you gave yourself permission to drop all but one ball and really pay attention to what was in your hand at that very moment? If you can't remember, maybe it's time. You can't create a bold life living in a distracted state. Success in life requires your presence and your attention.

But for now, I really just want to say "Hi" and let you know I'm back. I've got lots to share about the soul of success, living boldly and the power of paying it forward.

WHAT I KNOW...

Sometimes you have to take a few steps back to create momentum for your big leap forward.